Chapter 12: Self-Denial and Love of the Cross

“If any man will come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”—Matt. 16:24

The love which our Divine Master Jesus entertained for the cross was so great that He embraced it from the first moment of His Incarnation. The will of His heavenly Father had decreed that His life on earth should be the way of the cross; accordingly, He began His sorrowful journey to Calvary’s Mount the very moment that “the Word was made flesh and dwelt amongst us.” If we desire to be made conformable to the image of the Word Incarnate, we must needs love God’s will and carry our cross with patience and resignation. The cross is the nuptial couch to which our Saviour invites us. “He that taketh not up his cross and followeth me is not worthy of me.” (Matt.10:38). Hand in hand with the love of the cross is the virtue of self-denial, for he who is attached to the comforts of life or to himself lacks courage to walk in the bloodstained footsteps of the suffering Saviour.

“Patience hath a perfect work,” says the Apostle (James1:4), for by patience in bearing the crosses of life we make a perfect sacrifice to God. With resignation to His holy will we embrace the cross which He sends us and esteem it more highly even than one of our own choosing.

Patience, says the Wise Man, is to be preferred to the courage of the hero: “The patient man is better than the valiant: and he that ruleth his spirit, than he that taketh cities.” (Prov.16:32). Many a man will display great courage in undertaking and bringing to completion some pious work; but he may not have patience enough to bear with the little annoyances and contradictions he encounters. For such a one it were better to be steadfast in patient suffering than courageous in great undertakings. We are in this world to gain merit; therefore this earth is not a place of rest, but of work and suffering. Merits are not gained by repose and rest, but by labor and constant effort. All men must suffer, the just as well as the sinner. One is lacking in this, another is deprived of that. This man is noble but not wealthy; that man is rich but has no claim to nobility, while still another is both noble and rich, but he has lost his health. In a word we all have something to endure, be we high or low, rich or poor, learned or unlearned, sinners or saints.

PEACE OF HEART

Accordingly, we can enjoy true peace of heart only when we carry our cross with patience and resignation. The Holy Ghost warns us not to act as irrational animals which become enraged when they cannot gratify their desires: “Do not become like the horse and the mule who have no understanding.” (Ps.31:9). Of what use is it to be impatient in trouble and contradictions? We only increase our burden thereby. The two thieves who were crucified with our Blessed Redeemer were suffering similar torments; but the good thief was saved because he bore them with patience, while the bad thief was eternally lost because he suffered impatiently and rebelled. The same trial, says St. Augustine, leads the good to glory because they suffer with patience and resignation, but the wicked to eternal destruction from a want of patience and conformity to God’s will.

When we try to avoid a cross that the Lord has sent us, we often meet with another, and a much heavier one. “They that fear the hoary frost,” says Job, “the snow shall fall upon them.” (6:16). Only take this cross from me, you say; any other I am willing to bear. Ah yes, but that other cross may be heavier still and you have little or no merit for carrying it. Therefore embrace the cross that God sends you, no matter what it may be; it is lighter and more meritorious than any other, for you are doing God’s will and not your own.

St. Augustine says the whole life of a Christian must be one perpetual cross. This is especially true of those who are striving after perfection. St. Gregory Nazianzen says that “with great and generous souls riches consist in poverty, honor in contempt, and joy in the absence of all earthly pleasures.” When asked who it is that really strives after perfection, St. John Climacus replied: “He who constantly does violence to himself.” And when will the necessity of doing violence to oneself cease? Only when life is at an end, for St. Prosper says: “The struggle will be over only when we are certain of the victory, that is, when we have entered the Kingdom of Heaven.”

VALUE OF SUFFERING

If you are forced to acknowledge, dear Christian reader, that you have offended your God, and you wish at the same time to sanctify your immortal soul, you should rejoice when God sends you suffering. “Sin,” says St. John Chrysostom, “is an ulcer of the soul; if suffering does not come to remove the corrupted matter the soul will be lost.” When God gives you something to suffer, says St. Augustine, He acts as a physician, and the suffering He sends is not a punishment but a remedy. “Whom the Lord loveth, he chastiseth, and he scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.” (Heb.12:6). “If everything goes well,” says St. Augustine, “acknowledge the Father who caresses you; if you have suffering to endure, acknowledge the Father who chastises you.” “Hasten, O Lord,” cries St. Bonaventure, “hasten and wound Thy servants with the wounds of love and salvation, that we may not succumb to the wounds of anger and eternal death.” “God is never more angry,” says St. Bernard, “than when He is not angry with the sinner and fails to punish him.”

But suffering is not only an excellent means of atoning for past sins, it is also an abundant source of merit. “When there is question of winning Heaven,” says St. Joseph Calasanctius, “all pains must be regarded as trifling and insignificant.” The Apostle had said long before: “For I reckon that the sufferings of this time are not worthy to be compared with the glory to come that shall be revealed in us.” (Rom.8:18). It would be little if we had to endure all the sufferings of this world for one moment of the joys of Heaven. How much more, therefore, ought we to bear patiently every cross that God sends us when we know that the brief suffering of this life will be followed by the eternal happiness of the next. “For that which is at present momentary and light of our tribulation worketh for us above measure exceedingly an eternal weight of glory.” (2 Cor.4:17). The greater our merits here, the greater our glory hereafter. Hence St. James says: “Blessed is the man that endureth temptation; for when he hath been proved, he shall receive the crown of life which God hath promised to them that love him.” (James1:12).

Animated with this thought St. Agapitus, a youth of fifteen years, displayed most admirable heroism while suffering martyrdom. When the tyrant had burning coals placed on his head, the youthful martyr cried out: “It matters very little indeed that this head is burned with coals on earth, as long as it will be crowned with glory in Heaven.” It was this same thought that prompted holy Job to say: “If we have received good things at the hand of the Lord, why should we not receive evil?” (Job2:10). The good that I expect, says St. Francis de Sales, is so exceeding great that every pain becomes for me a pleasure: “In view of all I hope to gain, my labors here have naught of pain.”

A PROOF OF LOVE

Suffering is the touchstone of love. There are many, says the Wise Man, who are friends in the time of prosperity—but with the advent of adversity they disappear. “For there is a friend for his own occasion, and he will not abide in the day of thy trouble.” (Ecclus.6:8). But the surest proof of genuine love is shown by the man who voluntarily suffers for his friend. Consequently, we offer a most agreeable sacrifice to God when we willingly embrace the cross that He sends. “Love is patient,” says St. Paul, “it beareth all things.” (1 Cor.13:4, 7). It patiently carries the external as well as the internal cross: for example, the loss of health, of fortune, of honor, of relatives and friends; anguish, temptations, pains and spiritual aridity. By patience virtue is tried. On this account such stress is laid, in the lives of the Saints, on their patience in contradictions. The devil tempts us to try our patience. “Gold and silver are tried in the fire, but acceptable men in the furnace of humiliation.” (Ecclus.2:5). “Because thou wast acceptable to God, it was necessary that temptation should prove thee.” (Tob.12:13). When the Lord gives one an occasion of suffering much, says St. John Chrysostom, He shows a greater love for such a one than if He gave him the power to raise the dead to life; for when we work miracles we are debtors to God, but when we suffer patiently, God becomes so to say a debtor to us.

How is it possible to look at a crucifix and see a God who died in an ocean of sufferings and contempt, without bearing patiently for love of Him all the sufferings that God may choose to send us? St. Mary Magdalen de Pazzi once said: “Every pain, howsoever great, becomes sweet when we contemplate Jesus on the Cross.” When the learned Justus Lipsius was enduring great suffering, one of the bystanders encouraged him to be patient by recalling the example of some pagan philosophers. The sufferer raised his eyes to the crucifix and said: “Here is true patience.” He wished to say: the example of a God who suffered so much for love of us is sufficient incentive for us to suffer all pains for love of Him. “He who loves the Crucified,” says St. Bernard, “loves suffering and contempt.” When St. Eleazar was asked by his saintly spouse Delphina how he could bear so many insults from boorish men, without resentment, he replied: “You must not imagine that I am not sensitive to these insults; I feel them very keenly; but I turn to Jesus Crucified and continue to gaze upon Him until my mind is quiet, and a balm is laid upon my wounded feelings.”

Whether we will it or no, we must all bear the sufferings that God’s Providence has allotted to us. It is to our advantage, therefore, to suffer with merit, and that means to suffer with patience. Pray God earnestly for this precious gift, the grace to suffer the trials and tribulations of life with patience and conformity to His holy will. “To him who overcometh I will give a hidden manna.” (Apoc.2:17). Patience is to be exercised above all during sickness. Character and disposition are revealed by this infallible touchstone and shown to be genuine gold or sham.

Many people are cheerful, patient and devout as long as they enjoy good health; but as soon as they are visited by sickness, they commit innumerable faults; they grow impatient toward everyone around them and find fault with the care or want of care that is shown them; they complain of every little pain they suffer and allow their imagination to increase their troubles. “If we only knew what a treasure we possess in hidden sufferings,” said St. Vincent de Paul, “we would accept them as gladly as the greatest benefits.” St. Vincent himself suffered without complaint the most violent pains, which often left him without rest both day and night; and yet he was cheerful, as though he had nothing whatever to endure. Oh, how edifying it is at the time of suffering to preserve a cheerful peace and resignation!

Whenever St. Francis de Sales was ill, he simply stated the matter to the physician and then obeyed him exactly, taking the medicines prescribed, however repugnant they might be. After this he remained perfectly quiet and never complained of what he had to suffer. “Learn to suffer for the love of God,” says St. Teresa, “and don’t be anxious for everyone to find it out.” By a special grace of God the saintly Father Louis de Ponte was permitted one Good Friday to suffer a special pain in every part of his body. This he told to one of his friends, but he had scarcely done so when he regretted it to such an extent that he made a vow never after to tell others what he had to suffer. I say it was “by a special grace” that he suffered, for the Saints accept sufferings and tribulations as manifestations of God’s favor.

A very devout woman lay grievously sick and was tortured with violent pains; they placed a crucifix in her hands and told her to pray to the Lord to free her from suffering. “How can you counsel me,” she said, “to come down from the cross of suffering while I hold my Crucified Saviour in my hands? I will gladly suffer for love of Him who endured greater torments for love of me.”

This is what Our Lord said one day to St. Teresa when she was sick and suffered great pain. He appeared to her covered with wounds and spoke to her as follows: “Look at these wounds, My daughter; your pains will never be as great as Mine.” This led the Saint ever afterward to say: “When I think of Our Lord, who was so innocent and yet suffered so much, I cannot see how I can complain of my ailments.” “Many,” says Salvian, “would never have reached sanctity had they enjoyed good health.” And it seems very true, for if you read the lives of the Saints you will be astonished at the sufferings so many of them had to endure. These sufferings were stepping-stones to great holiness and intimate union with God.

I complain, not because I am sick, you will say, but because I cannot go to church, and receive Holy Communion and pray; moreover I am a burden to others. But tell me, why do you wish to go to church and to receive Holy Communion? Is it not to please God? Very well, but now if it is more pleasing to God that you remain away from church and Holy Communion, and suffer instead on a bed of pain, what reason have you to be disturbed? Listen to what Venerable John of Avila wrote one day to a priest who was very ill: “My friend, do not think now of what you would do if you were well, but be content to remain sick as long as it pleases God. If you are seeking the will of God, what matters it whether you are sick or well?” St. Francis de Sales maintained that we can serve God better by suffering than by laboring.

TO SUFFER IS TO PRAY

You say you cannot pray? Why not? I will grant that you cannot meditate for any length of time, but what prevents you from turning your eyes to Jesus Crucified and offering Him the sufferings you must endure. The best prayer you can say is to resign yourself to the will of God in the midst of your sufferings, uniting your pains to the pains of Jesus Christ and offering them as a sacrifice to God. It was thus St. Vincent de Paul acted when he was mortally ill. He placed himself in the presence of God, and from time to time made an act of love, of confidence, of gratitude or of resignation, especially when his pains became very violent. St. Francis de Sales said: “Sufferings in themselves are very abhorrent to our inclinations; but when considered with reference to the will of God they cause us joy and pleasure.” And finally you say you are a burden to others. It must be evident to all that your helpless condition is not of your own choosing, but is simply in accordance with the will of God. Therefore the complaints you make cannot proceed from the love of God, but are the expressions of self-love; we would like to serve the Lord, but in our own way, and not as He desires.

Father Balthasar Alvarez was one day permitted to see the glory that God had prepared for a religious as the reward of her patient endurance of suffering, and he asserted that this holy person had gained more merit in eight months of suffering than other zealous religious had gained in several years. While St. Ludwina was suffering great pain she entertained the desire to die a martyr’s death. One day when she experienced a particular yearning for this grace, she saw a brilliant but unfinished crown and she was given to understand that this crown was intended for her. Desiring the crown to be perfectly finished, she prayed God to increase her sufferings. The Lord heard her prayer. Some brutal soldiers entered and, after insulting her with the vilest epithets, cruelly beat her. An angel at once appeared with the beautiful crown completed and said that her last sufferings added to the crown the jewels which had been wanting. When the angel had finished speaking, the virgin expired.

Another opportunity is afforded us for the practice of patience by the persecutions to which we are sometimes exposed. “I have done nothing to deserve these insults and this persecution,” you may say; “why should I have to endure them?” But do you remember what Our Lord said to St. Peter the Martyr when the Saint complained that he was imprisoned unjustly? “O Lord, what evil have I done that I should suffer this persecution?” Our Saviour made answer: “And what evil have I done that I should be nailed to this Cross?”

A SOURCE OF MERIT

In the writings of St. Teresa we find these remarkable words: “He who strives after perfection must be careful never to say: someone has done me a wrong. If you are willing to carry no other cross but that which you deserve, you have no claim to perfection.” When St. Philip Neri lived near the church of St. Jerome in Rome, he suffered continually from the insults and annoyances of the evil-minded men of the neighborhood, and this for a period of 30 years. When finally he was urged by his spiritual sons to leave his old abode and live in a new monastery recently founded, he refused to do so, and could be prevailed upon only by an express command of the Holy Father.

The Saints have all had to suffer persecution of some kind. St. Basil was accused of heresy before Pope Damasus. St. Cyril of Alexandria was condemned by a council of 40 bishops and deprived of this episcopal see. St. Athanasius was accused of witchcraft, and St. Chrysostom of immorality. When more than 100 years old, St. Romuald was charged with a heinous crime, and they said he deserved to be burnt alive. And so on, from the first to the last in the calendar of the Saints of God. Indeed it could not be otherwise, for as the Apostle says: “All they that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.” (2 Tim.3:12).

If therefore, says St. Augustine, you do not care to suffer persecution, there is reason to fear that you have not begun to follow Jesus Christ. Who was holier than Our Lord and God? And yet He was persecuted to such an extent that He died on a cruel cross, the victim of calumny and injustice. How can we complain when we see our Master and Model before us! “If you do not believe my words, believe my works.” (John10:38). “They have dug my hands and feet; they have numbered all my bones.” (Ps.21:17–18).

SPIRITUAL ARIDITY

There is a great need of patience in bearing the cross of spiritual abandonment, for it is one of the hardest trials that a soul who loves God can endure. When a devout person is enjoying spiritual consolations, all manner of external trials are unable to disturb him. On the contrary, they only seem to increase the joy of his heart as they afford him an opportunity to offer his sufferings to the Lord and thus become more closely united to Him. But to experience no devotion, no zeal, no holy desires, but on the contrary only coldness and dryness at prayer and at Holy Communion is the most bitter pain that a soul that loves God can endure. St. Teresa says that such a soul gives the surest proof of her love when, without any apparent incentive, and even in spite of interior repugnance and agony of soul, she continues patiently on her way. “By aridity of spirit and temptations,” says the Saint, “the Lord proves those whom He loves.” When St. Angela of Foligno was once suffering from this spiritual dryness, she complained to the Lord that He had abandoned her. “No, My daughter,” replied the Lord, “I love you now more than before, and regard you as more closely united to Me than ever.”

It is a delusion, says St. Francis de Sales, to judge piety according to the measure of consolations that we experience in the service of God. True piety, he continues, consists in the determined will to do all that is pleasing to God. By means of spiritual aridity, God unites Himself intimately with the souls He loves in an especial manner. What hinders us from being truly united to God is attachment to our inordinate inclinations. When God, therefore, desires to lead a soul to His perfect love, He endeavors first to free her from all attachment to created things. To this end He deprives her little by little of earthly goods such as riches, honors, relatives, bodily health and so forth. Then follow contradictions and humiliations of every sort. These are so many means that the Lord makes use of to divest the soul of all attachments to creatures and to self.

In the beginning of the soul’s conversion, God often gives her a flood of consolations. In consequence of this, the soul is gradually weaned from attachment to creatures and gives herself to God; but not as yet in a perfect manner, for she acts more for the sake of the consolations of God than for the God of consolations, as St. Francis de Sales so beautifully says. It is a common fault of our fallen nature that in everything we do, we seek our own gratification. The love of God and Christian perfection do not consist in sweet feelings and sensible consolations, but in overcoming our self-love and in fulfilling the Will of God. In the lives of God’s greatest servants and saints we see the milk of consolations give place to the more substantial food of afflictions; and this it is that enables them to bear the burden of the cross on their journey to Calvary’s Mount. To a very holy person who suffered from spiritual aridity St. John of the Cross wrote as follows: “Never were you in a better condition than now, because you were never so humbled and so detached from the world, and never did you recognize your misery so well, as at this very moment. Never were you so indifferent about yourself and never did you seek yourself less.”

Oh, how dear to the heart of God are acts of confidence and resignation in the midst of the darkness of spiritual aridity. Let us, therefore, place our unbounded trust in God, who, as St. Teresa says, loves us more than we love ourselves.

THE HOUR OF DEATH

When the hour of death is at hand it is above all necessary to be resigned to the Will of God. Our life on earth is a continued storm in which we are in constant danger of perishing. St. Aloysius Gonzaga, who died in the bloom of youth, accepted death with joy, saying: “I am now, I hope, in the grace of God; I do not know what may happen to me later; therefore I gladly accept death at this moment, if it pleases God to call me out of this life.”

But then you will say: Aloysius was a saint, and I am a sinner. Listen to what the Venerable John of Avila says: “If our soul is only in a moderately good condition, we should desire death, in order to escape the danger of losing the grace of God.” But you may say: I have not yet gained any merit for my soul; I would like to live a little longer and do some good before I die. Who gives you the assurance that if your life is prolonged you will not be even worse than before, and perhaps be eternally lost? “Why do you desire to live,” says St. Bernard, “when the longer we live, the more we sin?” If we truly love God we must have a desire to see Him face to face in Heaven and love Him with an endless, unchangeable love. But death must open the gates to eternal life, and therefore St. Augustine, aglow with love for his God, cried out: “O Lord, permit me to die that I may come to see Thee face to face and enjoy Thee forever ‘where eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath it entered into the heart of man what things God hath prepared for them that love him.’” (1 Cor.2:9).