CHAPTER XXIII

Degrees of Supernatural Light

THE SEVEN degrees of contemplation and union which we have explained are nothing more than a preparation for the last. This as I have also said, consists in perfect I union with the Infinite Good and is called the “Mystic Espousals.” God, by Mystic Recollection, makes the soul attentive, and in the Spiritual Silence it listens to His Voice; the Mystic Quiet disposes it to generosity of action, while by the Sleep He renovates it; the Mystic Inebriety quite vivifies the soul; then by the Flame God sets it afire, and by the Thirst attracts with longings and consumes it. The happy Soul, thus having reached such great perfection, both sees and feels how near it is to God, and tastes the sweetness of His Love, still knowing well that it does not yet possess Him intimately.

It is like the fly that, attracted by the light of a flame, goes round and round and then dashes into it; but without penetrating so far as to become one with the flame and remain consumed therein. Thus the poor soul sighs and yearns with all the greater anxiety, in proportion as the light received in the various degrees of prayer, showing the beauty and loving-kindness of God, has been more vivid and intense. All this has been clearly stated by Gemma, in a few heartfelt words to her director, when making a manifestation of the state of her soul: “Jesus is in me,” she said, “and I am all His. I am, however, awaiting the grace to be entirely transformed into Him, and I am consumed by the desire to be able to plunge into the infinite abyss of Divine Love.”

As a general rule this immense favor is not granted all at once to the soul, who thus would be unable to bear it. Therefore it is that the Heavenly Father disposes and accustoms it, so to say, by little and little, making it pass first through another lesser degree, that is the eighth degree of Mystic theology. In this degree, from time to time, He communicates Himself to the soul, touching it, as it were, in flight and allowing Himself to be touched by it substantially. O great God of Love, g how I would wish to better understand and better explain these sublime things! But it is not in my power. Mystic theologians call these exquisite delicacies of Uncreated Love Divine Touches, precisely because they are instantaneous and so to say, superficial. They define them thus: “Spiritual impressions, analogous to that of the bodily touch, by which the soul feels the Divine action and God Himself in the very center of its being, and tastes Him in an ineffable way.”

Now that the yearnings of this heaven-favored child had increased to the extent that we have shown, and that the ardor of the fire within her had also increased, and brought that loving heart to the point of bursting, God willed to take pity on her and render her life bearable. He, therefore, began again to communicate Himself to her, allowing her now and then to come close to His Divine Heart.

I cannot say precisely when this happy state began, having found her in it when I undertook her spiritual direction, although those divine touches were then less perfect and of rare occurrence. They were granted her, as a rule, during the time of contemplation. By degrees a supernatural light displayed the Divine beauties to her mental vision, and her heart warming in her breast began to palpitate while she consumed herself in desire to be united to the Infinite Good. With the increase of these ardors the wall of separation, I will put it thus, between the Creature and the Creator, grew gradually thinner, until at last falling down it left the happy soul in contact with the Divinity. Then she could say but little: “O Angels, Angels, I can do nothing. Praise all of you the Love of my God. Behold, Jesus, I give myself up to Thy Holy Love.” Then her natural strength being unable to stand it, she would fall as one lifeless to the ground. Once this happened while she was in church after Communion. When she came to herself she felt grieved at this, and so besought the Divine Majesty, that the same thing never again happened to her in public. In her simplicity she attributed this grace to the continual violence she did herself in order to avoid singularity, and rejoiced at her success. She wrote of this to her director as follows: “Jesus continues to make Himself felt at all times and in all places. May He be blessed for ever!”

Oh, what violence I have to use in order to hide myself from others, particularly when I am in church and out of doors! It goes so far that I sometimes pass the entire day trying to suffocate these yearnings to cast myself into the infinite abyss of the Divine Love. I cease doing myself this violence only for a few moments after Holy Communion, and these moments are hurried because I fear being noticed. In the evening I feel a touch of fever, caused by my efforts to keep in restraint. But always advancing! because Jesus tells me that He is pleased at my acting in this way. Shall I be always able to restrain? I fear not; because these impulses keep growing stronger and more frequent, so as to come to surpass my power of resistance. Well then I can do no more, I must let it take its course, Jesus always and for ever!”

Sometimes the senses were called to take part in these Divine Touches. The Incarnate Word appeared to her in visible form, of which we have already had an example, and after having by His Divine Presence inflamed her heart, He invited her to approach the Wound in His Side. She kissed it with lips on fire and then fell senseless at His Feet. Here is how she describes one of these celestial interviews:

“Having been to Holy Communion, I felt Jesus coming, and do you know how I felt Him? At first, when I had scarcely received Him into my heart, He began to make it beat, oh so violently, that I thought it would leap from my breast. Then He asked me if I really loved Him. I answered—Yes. And do You love me? I said.

“Then Jesus touched me; kissed me; and I remained as if reduced to ashes in His presence.”

In the course of time, these seizures of love, if I may so term them, became very frequent, particularly during her ecstasies, and it was easy to know of them, because their effects became evident.

“Those little faintings,” she writes to me, “that happened to me in the presence of Jesus, are becoming more and more frequent. But if Jesus continues thus, He will soon be left alone. Ah! the love of Jesus is irresistible. How is it possible not to love Him with all one’s soul? How can one cease to long to be all absorbed in Him, and consumed in the flames of His love?” During her musings, in the same ingenuous way, turning to Our Lord, she was once heard to exclaim: “My beloved Jesus, but if You make all others feel like this, on fire, and unable to live in Thy presence, people can no longer exist, and You will be left all, all alone.”

Thus this seraphic girl thought that all Christians must be on fire, as she was, with heavenly love, whereas hers was the rarest privilege and might be called unique. She even thought that she of all others failed most in love, and with ceaseless prayer entreated of Our Lord to grant it her. These frequent Touches of the Hand of God enkindled greater fires of love and increased her burning thirst; hence, the following ardent utterance:

“My heart is always united to Jesus, who more and more consumes me. O my most sweet Jesus, I would wish to be all dissolved in the midst of the flames of Thy Love. Ah! how can I correspond, my God, since You hast so immensely benefited me? Who will help in this? To Thy Mercy alone I owe the little love there is in this poor heart for Thee.”

Another time, on her asking Our Lord how it could possibly be that in the center of her whole being she should feel such a longing to please Him and be united to Him in bonds of Eternal Love.

He answered, “Because I have been victorious.” And she: “Ah! yes, I am happy at being conquered by such great Goodness and by so much Love.”

And it was precisely so: Jesus had conquered; and in order to glorify Himself in this His beloved Servant, after thoroughly purifying her for so many years, and after having prepared her by such an abundance of grace in all the degrees of the Mystic Life, He willed to crown His work by the most exalted gift of perfect union. I have said, when speaking of her profound humility, that this modest Virgin did not dare to call Jesus her Spouse, it being enough for her to be His servant and His child. Even when in ecstasy, she abstained at first from giving Him that sweet title, and from calling herself His Spouse.

But as the fire of Divine Love increased in her heart, and with love, courage and confidence, she began to utter occasional aspirations, such as the following: “If I experience, O my God, such consolation every morning, when You make me call Thee Father, oh, what will it be when I shall be able to call Thee, my Beloved? Yes, Jesus, console this Thy poor child and promised spouse.”

And on another occasion, being likewise in ecstasy, she was heard to speak thus to her God in ardent accents:

“O Jesus, but always child? Nothing more? and yet I would wish . . . O Jesus! Yes, I know it, it would be too much, Jesus, for me. Shall I tell Thee what it is that I desire? I would wish, Jesus, I would wish to be . . . Thy Spouse, O Jesus.” And saying this, she fell fainting, and remained several hours on the ground as dead.

And now, O Divine Spouse of souls, hasten You, and say that the time has come: say to this innocent soul, arise and come. . . . The desires of this holy soul were satisfied, and the Divine Word united her to Himself in indissoluble bonds of love. Rich presents were not wanting to these espousals. Jesus appeared to her in the form of a lovely child in His Mother’s Arms, and the Holy Mother, taking a ring from His finger, put it on that of His fortunate servant.

From that day forward Gemma did not seem to be a human being. That majesty of countenance which had always been admired in her, that splendor in her eyes, that sweet smile on her lips, and whatever else up to then had adorned her, now assumed a heavenly look that exacted reverence and made her appear an angel from paradise.

“You may believe it, father,” so those who lived with her wrote to me, “you cannot look her in the face; she seems a seraph, and when you have looked at her for an instant, you are forced to lower your eyes through reverence. She is more retired than ever, more silent, more grave; yet, on the other hand, she takes part as before in every domestic work. When she is alone at prayer, she passes all the time in ecstasy. If you were to see her, you would be moved to tears. If you only heard the words of fire that come then from her lips! Our dear Gemma!”

This holy girl herself describes her new happy state to me in the following few eloquent words: “Jesus continues to love me but not in the same way as before, by uniting me to Himself in recollection—but in another way. From that day a new life began in me.”

From the lowly idea and imperfect similitude offered in earthly espousals the reader can form some conception of what Mystic Writers intend by this most sublime degree of union and love to which the Seraphic Virgin of Lucca was raised. For, as in earthly matrimony, two persons give themselves to each other with all they are and have, so as to become, as it were, one and the same person, so in this spiritual and Divine Matrimony the soul gives herself with her whole being to God and God to the soul; and this union, like the other, through an infinitely more perfect way, is intimate, continuous, indissoluble. Intimate, because it takes place in the center, and as the same writers say, in the substance itself of the fortunate soul. Continuous, because it is not subject to suspension or interruption on the part of God who is its true Author. Indissoluble, because, according to the ordinary law, it never happens that such a soul loses sanctifying grace by mortal sin, so as to be separated from God.

This most perfect union is, therefore, clearly distinguished from that of the eight preceding degrees, in which Our Lord communicates Himself in His gifts, but not in Himself. He is communicated to the powers of the soul, but not to the soul itself; and at intervals more or less frequent, but not in a permanent form. Let Gemma herself, who had the happy experience of this sublime union, describe it to us: “Today I am no longer in myself; I am with my God, all for Him, and He all in me and for me;” which is the saying of the Spouse in the Canticles: Ego delecto mea et ad me conversio ejus.

Gemma—“Jesus is with me, He is all mine; He is alone, alone, and I am alone to bless Him, alone to pay Him court. He dwells in the miserable cell of my heart and His Majesty disappears. We are alone, alone, and my heart palpitates continually with that of Jesus. Viva Gesu! The Heart of Jesus and my heart are one and the same thing. A moment does not pass without my feeling His dear presence always manifesting Himself in the most loving way.”

From these and like words very often spoken by the new spouse, it is easy to understand how great must be the happiness of a soul that has arrived at this height, while yet a pilgrim in this vale of tears; also how abundant must be the supernatural fruits that she gathers and tastes in her intimate union with the Infinite Good. Nor could it possibly be otherwise, if it is true that all the goods of the Spouse also belong to His bride. Therefore, with good reason Gemma was able to exclaim:

“Oh, what precious moments these are! It is a delight that can only be compared to the heavenly beatitude of the Angels and Saints. Yes, I am happy, because I feel my heart beat with Thine. I am happy because I possess Thee, O Jesus; O Jesus, with what joy it fills me to know that I possess Thee! But, my God, if You deal so with us on earth, what must it not be in Heaven!”

And, writing to her director: “Oh, father! If I were only able to feel and taste more fully the gifts that Jesus grants me! Oh, how good Jesus is! I ask Him to cease and put bounds to so many graces, because it is too much for me. Help, help! and bless me.”

It would be quite impossible even for Gemma to explain all the gifts that she received at this time from Our Lord. They were sublime graces that day by day ennobled, beautified, adorned and rendered her more acceptable in the eyes of His Divine Majesty. She felt herself transformed in God with all her powers and all the operations of her soul, and submerged in an abyss of light, serenity and peace. In this happy state her ecstasies were almost continual, for even when they ceased, she remained absorbed in God, and in a state of wonder and amazement. And, during these ecstasies and out of them, how intimate the secrets that the Divine Word told her! How sublime those intellectual visions, and those others, alternating with them, in which her sense took part! How clear those lights in which He revealed to her the glory of heaven that He held prepared for her, and the greatness of the mysteries of Faith, and the perfection of His own Divine attributes! Ah I now I see why this perfect Servant of God showed herself then more than ever weary of the things of this earth; so that she was often heard to exclaim:

“In this world everything wearies and weighs me down; I desire nothing, only to love, to love, to love. I give vent as much as I can in aspirations and ejaculatory prayers; thus I pass my days.” I do not wonder at her looking at all the graces she had received as little in comparison with those reserved for her in paradise; and at hearing her cry out: “Oh! to Paradise; let us go to Paradise where we shall see God as He is, in all His entirety, and possess Him perfectly and to satiety. When, O my God, wilt You take me to Paradise?”

I understand also now the terror that the mere mention of sin caused Gemma; and that ardent zeal that would have carried her so far as to make “bits of herself” in order to hinder the very least offence against God; and that intense desire to give Him satisfaction by every kind of suffering and by doing great things for His glory. She would say with vivacity: “But what is done for Jesus? Oh! what would I not wish to do! Would that I could give my whole life at once! But no, I wish to live always, if it pleases Him, always to work and do penance for Him, to suffer, O so much! and so much I to love Him, O so much and so much! Oh, if I could but possess, as I always ardently desire, the fervor and the love of all holy souls! Even more, that I might be able to equal the Angels in purity, and I would go as far as our most holy Mother, Mary!”

And it was natural that she should think and feel thus. The spouse lives only to please the beloved and give him pleasure. She never thinks of herself, and there is no inconvenience or pain to which she would not willingly submit in order to gratify him. The dishonor and insults that she sees offered to him are dishonor and insults done to herself in the most sensitive part of her being.

In proof of this, as regards Gemma, I give the following fact. She was returning from church and was overtaken by one from their house, who, blinded by furious passion on account of something that had happened, began giving expression to horrible blasphemies. At hearing him, she shuddered and raised her voice to stoop him, but her strength failing, she fell senseless on the spot. Meanwhile, her heart throbbed violently, and unable to resist the pressure of such grief drove the blood through her veins so forcibly that, oozing through the pores of her whole body as a profuse perspiration, it saturated all her clothes and even the very ground.

A spectacle, surely, this, to be compassionated. And I do not know that Christian hagiography has registered anything like it, except what we know of Christ, Our Lord, Who, to show us what a horrible thing is the offence against God caused by sin, fell in agony in the Garden of Olives and sweated Blood! Now, let the reader say if it is possible to imagine a love for God more tender, fervent and sincere, than that which this young girl has here shown us. When she recovered from her faint and her anguish had lessened, she rose, and not knowing what had passed, so distracted was she by her grief, she went home.

The first to meet her was her Aunt who, not knowing what to think of her pallor, asked her what had happened; then, seeing her covered with fresh blood, and thinking that she had thus punished herself with a discipline or otherwise, she upbraided her sharply. The holy girl, finding herself discovered, blushed, did what she could to get out of the embarrassment, and not succeeding, with tears and sobs confessed ingenuously that what had happened had been caused by blasphemies she had heard. Her friend, greatly moved, tried to pass it off, saying: “Oh! is this the first time that you have heard blasphemies in this unhappy city of ours? How is it that only to-day they have had this effect on you?” And Gemma, continuing to cry, said: “It is not the first; it is not the first time; it has always this effect on me when I cannot run away or otherwise distract my thoughts.” She might have added that at other times it was still worse, and that the intensity of her affliction had caused her to shed tears of blood.

This extraordinary phenomenon, also the only one of the kind we know of, was often witnessed, and by many persons, after Gemma had been raised to the perfect love of which we are treating. The blood ran down those innocent cheeks in streams through her deep sorrow at the insults offered to the Divine Spouse, and sometimes had to be removed in clots.

Another fruit of Gemma’s perfect union with her God was a certain impassibility in the midst of the greatest sufferings. Either she did not feel their effects or paid no attention to them, and while all around her were seen to be in great trouble, she alone remained undisturbed. “Don’t be uneasy,” she used to say, “Jesus won’t allow any harm to happen to us; oh! is not Jesus with us? Why be afraid?”

During physical pains that tormented her greatly, she was even cheerful. In the past, when Our Lord withdrew His sensible presence, she suffered great anguish of soul and trembled all over, fearing that she had lost her beloved Lord for ever. Now, having become His spouse, she is no longer distressed. She knows that the bond which unites her to Him will never be broken. God can, indeed, try her by depriving her of the sweetness of His Divine presence, but He cannot separate Himself from her heart. Observe how different her language now is from what it was formerly:

“Who knows if Jesus will let Himself be seen any more? But if He does not look at me any more, what matter? I look at Him always, and if He does not want me with Him any longer, I on my part am always seeking Him. I will think of Him without ceasing, and in the end He will return. Fly from me, fly far away, O Lord, if You wilt. I will continue to follow Thee, being certain that neither heaven nor earth nor hell can ever separate me from Thee. If it please Thee to make me suffer a martyrdom by hiding Thy dear presence from me, it will be the same to me only to know that You art satisfied. You being satisfied, all should be satisfied. Jesus hidden, Jesus for all Eternity!”

What more? Even the diabolical assaults which we have described elsewhere were no longer able to make her lose her peace of soul. Hence, in the last letter she wrote to me shortly before her death, she was able to say:

“Be assured, father, that I have no longer any fear of the devil. He beats and cuffs me; but I am sure that, if Jesus permits him to molest me, He will not allow him to do me any harm.”

The conclusion that all I have said leads to is this, that Gemma’s will, owing to the closeness of her union with God, became totally transformed into His Will, and in It reposed. And this perfect abandonment in God is one of the most excellent fruits of the Mystic Union in a soul. I should have much to write, were I only to allude here and there to all that I have in my notes on this subject. But the reader will be able to form a right idea about it from what he has already learned of the Servant of God’s perfect conformity to the Divine Will.

As this young girl from her very infancy willed only what was purely the Will of God, and in its fulfillment always found peace and happiness, no sooner was she raised to the dignity of spouse, than the Divine Will became truly the passion of her heart and a real necessity. Therefore, she was able to say to me one day:

“Father, be quite content; for now I have given myself entirely into God’s hands; I have surrendered myself totally to His Divine Will. I seek Jesus, but only that He may help me to do His most Holy Will. So, also, I have learned another thing: In my spirit I no longer go seeking or thinking, and I live in silence and in peace of heart. Oh! what great joy there is in remaining totally united to His Most Holy Will! His pleasure only; that is enough.” Hence, her indomitable courage in facing difficulties and obstacles, which has already been mentioned, her heroic fortitude in bearing up under every kind of trial, and her unfailing cheerfulness, that, passing from the spiritual or superior part to the lower, made her always bright and rendered her enviable and dear to all!

But what strikes me most, and what I wish here to emphasize in this happy state of God’s faithful Servant is the immense increase in the ardent yearnings of her heart towards the Infinite Good.

From what I know of this for certain, I am able to assert that very few souls among those commonly known have given proof of similar inner burning fire of the love of God. Gemma herself, who for so many years had been incessantly palpitating with love, was heard to exclaim:

“But what is this I feel? I cannot, O my true God, abandon myself to this sweetness, to this happiness. What is it that I feel, my God? Ah, I feel Thee in my heart. I feel Thee so living. What a mystery! I feel in paradise. Sooner or later, my Jesus, You wilt make me die, when I feel Thee thus palpitating in my heart. O Jesus, what if I could some day be able to say that I have been consumed by Thy Love? No, no, Jesus, don’t command me to love Thee. No, no, I will not ask Thee for more love, because I cannot contain any more. Don’t continue to consume me, as I am unable to bear it.”

And that was true. The natural organ of love, that is the heart, itself gave indubitable proofs of it. For as soon as this young Saint was raised to the highest and most perfect degree of charity, her heart, finding itself unequal to the fervor of her soul, reacted in an extraordinary way.

“My heart,” she said to me, “beats with the greatest violence and seems to want to leave my breast. It is too weak and cannot stay quiet. It is most trying to me to be obliged to remain sitting in bed; and the whole bed shakes. At certain moments it appears to me that my heart is coming out of my breast and I am obliged to put my hand on it. Oh! how I would wish to have someone to help me to moderate the fire and flames by which my heart is constantly agitated!” Do not imagine, reader, that these words are exaggerated; for I have had many proofs of what Gemma has stated. That overflowing heart in reality beat so strongly, that anyone trying to resist it with both hands joined, felt forcibly repelled.

I myself have often seen Gemma’s chair and bed vibrating greatly during those strong palpitations, while she remained tranquil, and, what is more wonderful, without the slightest sign of oppression or trembling; she spoke freely and was quite at her ease, as if she felt nothing strange, and seemed not to suffer the least inconvenience; her heart alone was thus agitated. Once I asked her what she thought of such a strange phenomenon, and she with her accustomed simplicity answered:

“Oh! don’t you see it? Jesus is so great and my heart is so small! There is no room for Him in such a little heart; and yet, wishing to dwell there, He shakes it in this way; and things will be badly remedied, father, if Jesus does not remedy them. Oh! that this heart were dilated! that Jesus might stay there at His ease!”

Her heart was indeed dilated, and expanding, it forced out three ribs on that side, as we read to have happened in a strong impulse of love to St Philip Neri, and to our Holy Father, St Paul of the Cross.

In Gemma’s case, as this mysterious occurrence lasted a considerable time, there was the facility of observing and studying it. Those three ribs were greatly bent, almost at right angles—thus forming a large protuberance on the outside and a cavity within that allowed the heart to palpitate more freely. Here this CHAPTER must end.