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[ashcfourn]

Hello Everyone!

     I'm looking for a bit of advice about my current situation as I feel it a bit daunting.

     To begin, I am 16 years old. For the past 3 years I have been going to church with my boyfriend and his family. Since then I have been very active in the church community, participating in two choirs, teaching in the Sunday school, as well as participating in many of the youth oppertunites offered by the parish. I was the leader of Mary's Way of the Cross this year, which was put on by the youth of the church. I no longer feel awkward walking into the church or participating in several masses. I would like to make known that I have no worries about knowing/learning everything. I have been in the Catholic school system for 8 years, and I know everything I need to.

     Both of my parents are baptized, but do not attend Church. They turned away after my parents came to the Church to get married (they had been engaged for a year) and the church turned them away because my mom had recently discovered that she was pregnant with me. Neither my brother or I was baptized. My parents know that I am involved with the church, and know that I attened regularly. However, they don't seem to have any opinion about it at all. My extended family are all catholic as well, but with the exception of one, they do not attened Church or practise their faith either.

     This is not the first time I have thought about conversion. I feel that I have already converted in my own heart, but the church demands that I have water poured on my head and a little piece of paper signed by the priest that says I actually did it. I know that I may sound resentful here, and I wish to shed some light on why this is.
     First of all, as I mentioned before, I don't understand why I have to make a big scene about coming into the church. I realize that it is a way to introduce me to the community, but as I am aready an active part of the community, I don't see why I need to have this done.
     Secondly, as to tie into the first part, many of the people attending my church think that I am Catholic. For instance, our deacon came to present the Eucharist to the members of my choir that were not able to beak away. He presented it to me, and I shook my head, he was startled, but blessed me anyways and moved on. He asked me about it afterwards, and was surprised at my responce. If all of these people believe that I am already Catholic, then what is the difference? I feel Catholic, and they have already accepted me!
     Finally, I don't think I will know how to react to family and friends who have seenme as non-catholic for so long. i don't think I could leave them out altogethere as they may feel hurt and unwanted, but I don't think I want them there either.

     I am frustrated with the idea that I need to take baby steps to be accepted into the church. I know that it is not an overnight process, but I have worked to get to the point that I am at now. I feel like I am a part of the church already, why does everything have to be so formal!?!

[cajunrick]

I feel that I have already converted in my own heart, but the church demands that I have water poured on my head and a little piece of paper signed by the priest that says I actually did it.

Actually, this is not correct.  It's not the Church that says you have to have water poured on your head.  Jesus is the one who said that.

John 3.5: Jesus answered, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God."

The Church is merely doing what Jesus instructed:

Matt 28.19: "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,"

So by choosing not to be baptized, you're not disobeying the Church, you're disobeying the Savior.

First of all, as I mentioned before, I don't understand why I have to make a big scene about coming into the church. I realize that it is a way to introduce me to the community, but as I am aready an active part of the community, I don't see why I need to have this done.

Think how excited the members of the community will be to have you join them at the Lord's Table!  Right now, you're attending Thanksgiving dinner but refusing to eat.  Just when the meal is served, you go watch the football game.  Once you are baptized, you'll be completely a member of our family and you'll be welcomed to sit at the "grown-up's table" and to share the Body and Blood of our Savior.

If all of these people believe that I am already Catholic, then what is the difference? I feel Catholic, and they have already accepted me!

The difference is the same as living with your boyfriend or marrying him.  The relationship you have now with the Church is an empty one.  You're there for fun; you've withheld your commitment. 

Imagine if your boyfriend told you he loves you and wants to spend his life with you, but you can't have a ring and you can't be seen together in public and you'll never get married.  What message would that send to you?

In addition, you are ignoring the teachings of our Savior.  He crawled on a cross and died for you, but you're not willing to get your head wet for him.  "I asked Jesus how much he loved me and he said 'This much'.  Then he stretched out his arms and he died."  How much do you love Jesus?  Enough to get your head wet?