next »

CatholiChat

Bible

Catechism

Catholic Encyclopedia

Today's Readings

Advanced search

[Stephana]

I've been involved in my parish's RCIA program for well over a year now, in an attempt to learn more about my children's Catholic education (they attend the parish school). I feel I've come to a good place in my inquiry and would like to be baptised in the faith. (I was never baptised as an infant in any church). However, our deacon mentioned something just last week about my "state of marriage" and that it might affect my ability to join the church. I am currently living with my boyfriend and we have a child together; he is Catholic by upbringing if not in practice, but he does not, at this time, believe in marriage. Will his inability to take a legal step in our relationship prevent me from pursuing the Catholic faith to its fullest?

[Deacon Anthony]

I've been involved in my parish's RCIA program for well over a year now, in an attempt to learn more about my children's Catholic education (they attend the parish school). I feel I've come to a good place in my inquiry and would like to be baptised in the faith. (I was never baptised as an infant in any church). However, our deacon mentioned something just last week about my "state of marriage" and that it might affect my ability to join the church. I am currently living with my boyfriend and we have a child together; he is Catholic by upbringing if not in practice, but he does not, at this time, believe in marriage. Will his inability to take a legal step in our relationship prevent me from pursuing the Catholic faith to its fullest?

If you are an ongoing situation that places you objectively in state of mortal sin you cannot confess and receive absolution, or receive any of the other sacraments, unless and until you remedy that situation. That means leaving a cohabitation situation, convalidating a civil marriage, whatever it takes. So, yes your situation would prevent you from pursuing the Catholic faith.  Just as a side note, you child has nothing to do with it.  You could become Catholic if you no longer lived with your boyfriend and ceased sexual relations.

[Stephana]

Thank your for your reply.

I've been able to ask my deacon about this as well, and I was told that if my boyfriend and I opted to marry in the church, it would qualify as a sacrament and I would be eligible for the other sacraments as well. However, after perusing these forums, I found a post in which you said any unbaptised person who marries in the church does *not* have a sacramental marriage- which means in my case, I would not be eligible for further sacraments.  This seems like a Catch-22 situation to me. Could you please explain how this works?

[Deacon Anthony]

Thank your for your reply.

I've been able to ask my deacon about this as well, and I was told that if my boyfriend and I opted to marry in the church, it would qualify as a sacrament and I would be eligible for the other sacraments as well. However, after perusing these forums, I found a post in which you said any unbaptised person who marries in the church does *not* have a sacramental marriage- which means in my case, I would not be eligible for further sacraments.  This seems like a Catch-22 situation to me. Could you please explain how this works?

Marriage is only sacramental between 2 validly baptized persons however it would be a valid marriage.  U would only be eligible to receive the other sacraments AFTER baptism into the Catholic church.  No unbaptized nor a person validly baptized into any Protestant religion may receive sacraments in the Catholic Church, they must go through RICA and officially enter into the Catholic faith.  If u married ur bf in the Church and then u were baptized at later time ur marriage would become sacramental at the time of ur baptism. Maybe u need to have another conversation w/ ur deacon to clarify.